The Show Begins - Get Ready to
Hurry up and Wait!
Now you have your 'baby bag', your emergency outfit, and your cross body info bag (oh you don't have that?. Right I've saved that info for my book, "A Fashionista's Guide to Care Giving"), with a bit of extra cash, cell phone and keys to everywhere. So the next time you have to jump on a plane and fly to New York because your own mother has forgotten who you are, you'll be dressed, organized and unfrazzled. And who does that harried doctor want to spend an extra two minutes with? The caregiver who arrives crazed, half dressed and oh not so fresh, or the caregiver who is calm, organized and ready for an adult exchange of information? Remember, the object is to get as much information and care for your charge as possible from this overworked, understaffed medical system.
Who knows how long you'll be waiting in an emergency room, patient room, or hallway, leaning up against that now comfortable wall, half asleep? Once you've settled your charge, find a comfortable chair, get out your herbal tea and power bar, and give yourself a pat on the back. Worrying right now does no good and it will do you lots of harm. What will happen will happen. You've done your part to the best of your ability. You asked all the right questions, you've done your research, you've gotten that second opinion. Now let the medical community do its thing.
Use this down time to collect all those pamphlets on additional services, that are always on those side tables. Read them and use them. Ask questions while you're waiting for your husband to finish his third surgery in three months. Always ask, "Where can I get more HELP!" What free or low cost services or supplies does your charge qualify for?
Because our next goal is to take care of ourselves. Caregivers are at risk. They become ill and some actually die. I thought they died of a broken heart, but now I know that they died from overwork, no sleep, and stress, stress, stress! This means that we as caregivers have to be actively looking for ways to destress, calm down, pamper ourselves. It is not selfish. It is survival.
Put in place a real system of relaxation: deep breathing during the day, bubble baths when you can, sound machines that mimic a heartbeat, herbal teas that soothe, not just in times of stress, but as a regular part of your daily regimen. Add in foods that boost the immune system as well. Not just when you have the flu, but every day.
And surround yourself with a community of friends, friends, and more friends.
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